Tag Archives: Steam/PC

Funct Again

Refunct, Steam, 3 Dollars.

You start the game. There’s a title. You smash around on your keyboard to make it go to the menu. There isn’t one. You’re in a wet, gray and empty world standing on a block. You take a step forward. Minecraft. Minecraft? No, but close. The gray turns to green, to brown. You jump. More green, more brown. You see a shaft of red. Must be where you need to go. More green, more brown. You quickly reach the shaft, it’s a button on an easily reachable platform. You step on it. From the ocean depths raises a new group of blocks. From your height you see just below the surface a metropolis of broken levels. Can you swim in this game? Yes, you can, forever, and ever. This isn’t a game where you can die. Where you can fail. Where you have to worry. Day turns to night. Night turns to day. The music drones on in the background. It fills you with peace.

Two puzzles down. You pause. The menu is topped with “8%,” does that mean I’m 8% done with the game? Have I pressed 8% of the buttons? Have I transformed 8% of the terrain into flourishing Minecraft blocks?

Higher pillars, is there a double jump? No. You silently, effortlessly climb ledges. That’s cool. A few more puzzles in, wall jumps. Didn’t know I was playing Mirrors Edge. Tubes. They move me around. Ok. Platforms, they take me up. Ok. Robotic cyber cubes. I got one. What did it do? An achievement pops. I guess they’re just bonus items. Another one, I can’t reach it. What if… yes. You can harness the vertical momentum of a platform for a turbo jump.

33 minutes have passed. 100%. The game loves me. Fireworks. The end.