Tag Archives: Review

They All Come Out At Night

Welcome back to another Monday, which means it’s time to grab a buddy, and have have some fun. With this addition, we will be diving into a fight game series that I love. Now when we talk about fighting games, the most common names come up, such as Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat, then games such as Tekken and Soul Caliber might come up. Unfortunately, one fighting series, with some memorable characters, and had a game come out a few years ago, doesn’t get the love that it deserves. So you guys know the drill, grab your buddy, hook up your PS1, because it is time to play Darkstalkers: The Night Warriors.

This game first hit arcades back in 1994, and I remember helping my mom down to the nearby laundry mat, just because it had this game there. So when it came out for the PlayStation two years later, it was a must have for me. Darkstalkers was created by Capcom, so it uses a lot of the fighting mechanics found in Street Fighter Two, and it adds new things such as, chain combos, air blocking, and crouch walking. Like most fighting games, this game has an odd storyline, that doesn’t makes sense, but we let it slide, cause the game is good. The story goes that an alien has come to devour the Earth, and the characters that I’m about to take about are the Earth’s last line of defense to save mankind. Why these guys are humanity’s last hope, I have no idea!

Anyway, let’s talk about what really makes this game stand out, the characters. You get to choose from ten playable monster characters. They are Anakaris, a 5,000 year old Egyptian mummy, Bishamon, the ghost samurai warrior, Demirti Maximoff, a powerful vampire, Felicia, a sexy cat-woman, Jon Talbin, an English werewolf, Lord Raptor, the ghoulish rockstar, Morrigan Aensland, a powerful succubus, and princess of the demon realm. You also have Rikuo the merman, Sasquatch, well duh he is a Bigfoot, and finally Victor Van Gerdenheim, who is basically Frankenstein’s monster. Now that you know who the characters are, I’ll asked you again, why do these guys care if humanity dies? If it was to save their own asses, that would make more sense.

Each character has their own unique level based on who they are, and where they are from. Not only that, they have their own combos and special attacks that are designed to them. The game is very fun, and you and your buddy will have fun playing against each other, or trying to beat the game, which mean beating the other two non playable characters. There are a few other Darkstalkers games out there for different systems, but if you are not familiar with the franchise, I suggest that you start off with this game to familiarize yourself with the characters. If you can’t find this game, it should be on the PlayStation Network. Enjoy and until next time Painkillers.


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Take Me Down To Paradigm City

Good morning Painkillers. Glad that you all could join me for another Anime Wednesday. Today’s feature, we will be talking about Batman. Wait, this can’t be right! Let’s see, a bad ass that dresses all in black with a bunch of neat toys, a cool sidekick, and a kick ass butler, okay yeah this is Batman. Alright, I’m joking, but it does have a little Batman feel to it, so let’s get into it, since we got some judging to do. Here is The Big O.

Our story opens up in Paradigm City, nicknamed “The City of Amnesia”. About fourth years ago, an “event” happened, where everyone in Paradigm city lost their memories. Here we meet Roger Smith, the top Negotiator in the city. He has a certain set of rules that he does his job by. He also has another special job, he is the piolt of the Megadeus, Big O. Along with his personal assistant Dorothy, and his butler Norman, they protect the city from other Megadeus’ and also try to find out, what happened fourty years ago.

This show is very good. Roger can come off as very straight forward, but many of his interactions with Dorothy are good for a laugh. Especially when she is trying to follow some of his rules. All of characters are well though out, and interact well with other main and side characters. The first 13 espoides run on like most anime or animated shows on TV. The last 13 however, tend to focus more on storylines, and try to answer all questions.

This show was on Cartoon Network back in the day, but now it might be easier to go out and buy it on Blu-ray. If you guys know where to find this show, please let us know. Would like people that never experienced this show before, to have a chance to see it, and definitely want the people that have seen it, to be able to watch it again.


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Toads And Dragons Unite!

Hello all my Painkillers out there, and welcome to another addition of Grab A Buddy Monday! For today’s game, I’m going to tell you about a mash up, that even to this day, I have no idea how this even came together. Anyway, it’s time to grab your buddy, hook up your SNES, and let’s play some Battletoads & Double Dragon.

The plot of the game is simple. The Dark Queen has returned, and is once again hell bent on ruling the galaxy. This time, she has partnered up with the Shadow Warriors (you know, the baddies from the Double Dragon games), to make sure her plans go through. When the Battletoads find out about this, they get on touch with the Double Dragons, Billy and Jimmy Lee to help even the odds.

The gameplay is classic beat em up style. I like the fact that you can choose from all five battletoads and double dragons to play as. You play through seven levels, with a boss battle at the end of each stage. The downside of this game is that it follows the same gameplay as the first battletoads game, where if one person dies, and has to continue, that both players have to start at the beginning of that level.

Normally when I do these post, my goal is to try to get you interested in trying to find and play these games, and because of that, I try to not knock these games. Don’t get me wrong, because this is a good game, and you should definitely check it out. My issue with this game, is that it looks, feels, and plays like a battletoad game, as if the Double Dragons were added at the last second. Me personally, it would have been better to have a bit more double dragon stuff added in, but check it out yourself, and let me know what you think.


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Launch White Base!

Good morning my little Painkillers, and welcome to the first Anime Wednesday! Are you guys excited? I know that I am, and I’m going to kick things off right. For those that were here for my birthday, I mentioned that I wanted to do this anime first, but I made an exception, since that one was my favorite. So I figured what better time to do this anime then now. Now, without any further delay, it’s time to strap in, and time to launch Guncannon, Guntank, and of course Gundam. Here is the show that started it all, Mobile Suit Gundam.

The year is Universal Century 0079, the Principality of Zeon has declared their independence from the Earth Federation, and also declared war against them. The war has directly affected every one that lives on Earth and in Space, nearly whipping out almost half of humanity in the process. The show opens up on Side 7, where the Earth Federation newest warship know as White Base, is headed to a secret research base to retrieve their latest weapon. Unfortunately, White Base was followed by a Zeon recon team, and I’m sure that you can guess what happened next.

This show is truly amazing. It shows what happens when civilians are forced into military life, in order to survive. The clashes with the military personnel and the non military personnel, seem very realistic. The best thing about this show, especially if you are a Gundam fan, this is the start of the rivalry between Amuro Ray and Char Aznable.

Quick facts about this show, it was originally supposed to run for 52 episodes. Due to poor ratings, that sponsors wanted it cut down to 39, thankfully the producers were able to get it back to up to 43. It wasn’t until the show went into reruns, that it gained popularity, that the series was able to get spin off shows, theatrical releases, and help it become the franchise that it is. So, if you have watched the show before, or never seen it before, go find it, and check it out.

“Hail Zeon! ”


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Funct Again

Refunct, Steam, 3 Dollars.

You start the game. There’s a title. You smash around on your keyboard to make it go to the menu. There isn’t one. You’re in a wet, gray and empty world standing on a block. You take a step forward. Minecraft. Minecraft? No, but close. The gray turns to green, to brown. You jump. More green, more brown. You see a shaft of red. Must be where you need to go. More green, more brown. You quickly reach the shaft, it’s a button on an easily reachable platform. You step on it. From the ocean depths raises a new group of blocks. From your height you see just below the surface a metropolis of broken levels. Can you swim in this game? Yes, you can, forever, and ever. This isn’t a game where you can die. Where you can fail. Where you have to worry. Day turns to night. Night turns to day. The music drones on in the background. It fills you with peace.

Two puzzles down. You pause. The menu is topped with “8%,” does that mean I’m 8% done with the game? Have I pressed 8% of the buttons? Have I transformed 8% of the terrain into flourishing Minecraft blocks?

Higher pillars, is there a double jump? No. You silently, effortlessly climb ledges. That’s cool. A few more puzzles in, wall jumps. Didn’t know I was playing Mirrors Edge. Tubes. They move me around. Ok. Platforms, they take me up. Ok. Robotic cyber cubes. I got one. What did it do? An achievement pops. I guess they’re just bonus items. Another one, I can’t reach it. What if… yes. You can harness the vertical momentum of a platform for a turbo jump.

33 minutes have passed. 100%. The game loves me. Fireworks. The end.

River City Beatdown!

Welcome my lovely Painkillers! Another Friday is here, and since we are still in November, it means another post for No Save November. So to recap, I covered a great game in Golden Axe, an extremely hard game in The Revenge of the Shinobi, and a what the fuck game in Metal Gear. Now it seems like a good time to bust out another classic game, let’s talk about River City Ransom.

This classic NES game can best be described as an action role playing beat ’em up. You play as either Alex or Ryan, high school students that have to make their way through River City, and make it the high school to defeat a villain named Slick, and to rescue Ryan’s girlfriend Cyndi. Along the way you cross into different gang’s territories. You take them out, and the gang’s leaders act as boss fights.

Overall this is a great game. The moment and fighting are really well done. The weapon selection throughout the game is good. My favorite weapon in the game are gang members. Yes, you read that correctly. Just like the other weapons that you can pick up and throw, or hold to beat down the enemies, you can do the same thing with a gang member in your hands. Once you defeat an enemy, they will drop money, that you can use to buy items to increase your stats, and to improve your fighting skills.

The big issue with this game, is that it becomes one big grinding session. Since most enemies tend to drop only a few cents to a dollar at most,and the gang leaders tend to drop a bit more, you find yourself leaving an area, just to go right back into it, to beat down the gang leader so you can get more cash quickly. You start off with $20, and it’s helpful for grabbing a cup a tea or a hamburger, but it doesn’t mean crap when two of the basics combat books are $26 and change. Happy grinding.

Just like the other games that have been writing about for No Save November, this game doesn’t use a save feature, even though it should. Instead it uses a password feature. Like most of these passwords, it is long and annoying.

OK quick rant, Zelda came out in 1986, and they figured out how to save, and it works really well. Hell, I can go to my grandmother’s house now pop in the game, and play a save file on it from the late 80’s or early 90s. So I don’t know why any NES game that came out after 1986 doesn’t have that or any other save function, that is not this password bullshit is beyond me. Fuck the Chairman, for making me relive all this bullshit, and Fuck No Save November!


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The Merc Of The Sands

Evening Painkillers. Welcome to another Anime Wednesday. I don’t know how it is over where you guys are at, but as I’m writing this, it is freezing over here in the Northeast. I’ve been trying to use one of those techniques where you think of someplace warm, and you will be warm. So for about an hour or so, I have been trying to picture myself sitting on a beach near the water, sipping on a drink that was poured into a coconut. Well, all I got was me standing in the middle of a desert, and I’m still cold as hell. Oh well, guess this is a good time to tell you about Desert Punk.
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Montana, Joe Montana

What if I told you that there was a time that you could play a NFL licensed game, and it had nothing to do with John Madden. That the A, B, and C buttons were all you needed to call and run plays. That the two games that came out before they got the licence, had the greatest quarter back of his generation, possibly the greatest of all time, front and center of the game, and they were named after him. ESPN and Captain Pain Products presents, 30 for……. OK, that’s enough before I and the HBCL gets sued. We are a bunch of empty bags anyway. Since it’s Monday, my Painkillers know that it’s time to grab a buddy, and since I said the buttons earlier, you should have hooked up your Genesis by now. It’s time to play NFL Sports Talk Football 93 featuring Joe Montana.

As I said earlier, this is the third game in the Joe Montana series of games, but the first to use the NFL license. This allowed them to actually use the names of the 28 teams at the time and use the phrase “Super Bowl “,when in the past they only used the city, and they played in the Sega Bowl. The game also has commentary. It uses some robotic voice, cause it sure as hell doesn’t sound like the late Lon Simmons. The playbook is also a good size, so there are many plays to choose from.

The game is fun to play. You and your buddy will have a good time playing this classic game, and trying to remember what teams were good, and who was on each team during that time. You can also see the evolution of football games, and see some of the building blocks for a game like Madden. Also you playing this game, you have a much better chance of getting and winning the Super bowl, than winning your fantasy football league.


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