The Post-Crashening… Continue reading Console Mega-Wars II
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This is how bad hentai starts… Come to think of it, this is also how good hentai starts…
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Kain auditioned for this game.
Kain did not get the part.
Kain was displeased.
Continue reading What The Hell Happened? Part 2
God damn you Capcom..
Continue reading What The Hell Happened? Part 1: Breath Of Failure
Good morning Painkillers, Leaguers, and new comers, welcome to another addition of Grab a buddy Monday. Today, I felt that we should dive into another classic franchise. Just like the Darkstalkers series, this series has a bunch of games that have come out over the years, and I’m hoping that another one comes out in the near future. With that being said, it’s time to grab your buddy, hook up your PlayStation one, and let’s play some Twisted Metal.
So a little backstory, this game takes place in Los Angeles in the year 2005, and we all remember how fucked up LA was back in 2005. This is the tenth annual running of the Twisted Metal Tournament. The man behind the tournament, Calypso, found 12 contestants, to fight it out in a vehicular battle to the death. The winner will have a wish granted by Calypso, no matter how big, small, or even out of this world. Let’s meet the contestants.
First there is is Captain Spears, and his car Road Kill. He lost his unit in a war, and his wish is save them from an ambush. Up next we have Mike and Dave, in their monster truck Hammerhead. Like most wannabe rockers, their wish is to score some babes. Contestant number three is Scott Campbell, and his sport car Spectre. Campbell is a restless spirit, and is hoping to win the tournament to become whole again. Number four, we have a man and a motorcycle with the same name, Mr. Grimm. He is the Grimm Reaper, and if he wins, he is coming for Calypso’s soul. Up next number five is Commander Mason, and his vehicle Warthog. He is hoping to win, so he can get a recording that proves that aliens exist. Half way through the list, at number 6, we have Agent Amanda X, AKA Angela Fortin, and her car Pit Viper. She claims that she has been paid $1,000,000, by the people of Los Angeles to kill Calypso.
Now, contestant number seven, we have a man that goes by the name of Agent Stone, and his car Crimson Fury. It seems that Stone is also here to proves that aliens exist as well. Up next at number eight, we have Bruce Cochrane, and his low rider, Thumper. He is here, to end all the violence in his hometown of Los Angeles. Contestant number nine is, Sargent Carl Roberts, and his police cruiser Outlaw. His wish is to end the Twisted Metal Tournament once and for all. At number ten, we have Mr. Ash, and his Semi truck, Darkside. It’s unknown why brings Mr Ash into the tournament. At number 11, we have cab driver Charlie Kane, and his cab Yellow Jacket. He is here to find out what happened to his son, that disappeared 20 years ago. Finally, the last contestant, who is probably the most recognizable character in the franchise, Needles Kane, and his ice cream truck, Sweet Tooth. This murderous psychopath is here for one thing, to rescue his best friend.
The story mode of the game is a bit short, you can beat the game with one contestant within an hour. I guess that it is done that way, so you can go back and beat the game with every contestant, to see everyone endings. The selling point of this game is the multi player, and that’s why we are here. You and your buddy will have fun playing through all of the characters and levels, seeing which levels you like the best, and what character fits you style of play the most, since every vehicle has their own unique weapons, special attacks, armor and speed. If you enjoy this game, you should definitely try to get your hands on some of the sequels. Until next time Painkillers!
Captain Pain approves this post
Welcome back to another Monday, which means it’s time to grab a buddy, and have have some fun. With this addition, we will be diving into a fight game series that I love. Now when we talk about fighting games, the most common names come up, such as Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat, then games such as Tekken and Soul Caliber might come up. Unfortunately, one fighting series, with some memorable characters, and had a game come out a few years ago, doesn’t get the love that it deserves. So you guys know the drill, grab your buddy, hook up your PS1, because it is time to play Darkstalkers: The Night Warriors.
This game first hit arcades back in 1994, and I remember helping my mom down to the nearby laundry mat, just because it had this game there. So when it came out for the PlayStation two years later, it was a must have for me. Darkstalkers was created by Capcom, so it uses a lot of the fighting mechanics found in Street Fighter Two, and it adds new things such as, chain combos, air blocking, and crouch walking. Like most fighting games, this game has an odd storyline, that doesn’t makes sense, but we let it slide, cause the game is good. The story goes that an alien has come to devour the Earth, and the characters that I’m about to take about are the Earth’s last line of defense to save mankind. Why these guys are humanity’s last hope, I have no idea!
Anyway, let’s talk about what really makes this game stand out, the characters. You get to choose from ten playable monster characters. They are Anakaris, a 5,000 year old Egyptian mummy, Bishamon, the ghost samurai warrior, Demirti Maximoff, a powerful vampire, Felicia, a sexy cat-woman, Jon Talbin, an English werewolf, Lord Raptor, the ghoulish rockstar, Morrigan Aensland, a powerful succubus, and princess of the demon realm. You also have Rikuo the merman, Sasquatch, well duh he is a Bigfoot, and finally Victor Van Gerdenheim, who is basically Frankenstein’s monster. Now that you know who the characters are, I’ll asked you again, why do these guys care if humanity dies? If it was to save their own asses, that would make more sense.
Each character has their own unique level based on who they are, and where they are from. Not only that, they have their own combos and special attacks that are designed to them. The game is very fun, and you and your buddy will have fun playing against each other, or trying to beat the game, which mean beating the other two non playable characters. There are a few other Darkstalkers games out there for different systems, but if you are not familiar with the franchise, I suggest that you start off with this game to familiarize yourself with the characters. If you can’t find this game, it should be on the PlayStation Network. Enjoy and until next time Painkillers.
Captain Pain approves this post!
(A warning, this post was to come out Monday the 22nd but didn’t cause human error. Huzzah!) Continue reading Tombstones, Sharpshooters & Stunners…Oh my…
You’ll like Dante, he’s HELL-arious!
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